Sunday brain food master research highlight: Intelligence and Emotions

People often associate someone’s IQ with his or her ability to be successful. And while important to success, IQ becomes less important as we grow in our career. Its value wanes as people start to manage people, build relationships and advance up the proverbial corporate ladder.

Understanding our current EQ score - and putting a professional development plan in place to build on weak areas - will help us tremendously as we progress in our career.

“We're finding more and more that 'soft' skills bring 'hard' results in the business world." - Dunn

People with high EQs tend to have five qualities or competencies in common:

1. Optimism -- ability to anticipate the best possible outcome of events or actions
2. Self-Awareness -- knowledge of current emotional state, strengths and weaknesses
3. Empathy -- understanding of others' points of view and decision-making processes
4. Impulse Control -- ability to mitigate an urge to act (as in: think first and act later)
5. Reality Testing -- ability to see things as they are, not as we want them to be

The more of the qualities a person possesses, and the more they use them, the higher EQ they typically have.

Two tests are available to effectively measure a person's EQ:

MSCEIT developed by Mayer, Salovey, and David Caruso, was the first EQ test. A more updated version was developed by Reuven Bar-On, a psychologist who in fact coined the term "emotional quotient." The Bar-On model (more widely used and validated than the MSCEIT) evaluates in five general areas:

1. Intra-Personal -- ability to be aware of, manage, and express emotions
2. Inter-Personal -- ability to initiate and maintain relationships with others
3. Adaptability -- ability to be flexible, solve problems and be realistic
4. Stress Management -- ability to tolerate stress and control impulses
5. General Mood -- happiness and optimism levels

With the changes going on within associations today and their respective leadership ranks, it is even more important to understand the importance of EQs, both from the volunteer and the professional staff perspective. By doing so, it will only strengthen the partnership and put us at a competitive advantage.

But to succeed in business today, high EQ and IQ combined is not enough. We also need to think about our RQ.

The personal reputation, or brand, is what sets us apart from our colleagues or competitors. It is what people know they can expect from us.

Building personal brand enables us make it to the top of the corporate ladder, skipping a few rungs, because to succeed in today’s dynamic marketplace, we need to be visible and be known for something. We must stand out from myriad others with similar skills and experience. And we must use what sets us apart as the foundation for excelling in our career.

Like with EQ, our RQ can be improved with self-work. Understanding, building and communicating our personal brand will help us increase our RQ - or brand value - and our ability to take control of our career. Building our RQ is a three-step process:

EXTRACT - Unearth Your Unique Promise of Value. Learn what separates you from your peers and is compelling to those who need to know about you so that you can expand your success.

EXPRESS - Build a Communications Plan to Express Your Brand. Identify the tools that you will use to communicate your unique promise of value so that you will become consistently and constantly visible to those around you.

EXUDE - Manage Your Brand Environment. From your desk or office to your voice-mail greeting, you must ensure that everything that surrounds you sends the same on-brand message.

The Winning combination is having -  IQ, EQ and RQ.

Good decision-making requires more than intellect or what we normally think of as IQ cause in the end:

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." - Charles Darwin

Useful links:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/robasghar/2014/04/25/how-good-managers-manage-emotions/

http://mqjeffrey.hubpages.com/hub/Intelligence-IQ-vs-Emotional-Intelligence-EQ

http://www.forbes.com/sites/keldjensen/2012/04/12/intelligence-is-overrated-what-you-really-need-to-succeed/

http://www.reachcc.com/reachdotcom.nsf/3d3ab85617c37d52c1256af500687f55/7fc445a72ce0dbe5c1256af500027f28!OpenDocument

Always Bring "Something More"

Stephen Sondheim, musical producer, wrote: “All the best performers bring to their role something more, something different, that what the author put on paper. That’s what makes a theater live. That’s why it persists.” The best-performing leaders do the same in the roles they choose that life calls them to play - they always bring that beautiful and special ‘something more.’

They are the ones who see challenges as opportunities for change and greatness. They are the ones who see a bigger picture and vision that captures and inspires the imagination. They are the ones who surprise us with the gift of the unexpected, the unique that creates a world of new possibilities. They are the ones who leave us with smile, a warm satisfaction and comfort and a sense of caring after a conversation. They are the ones who rekindle our passion to accomplish our greatest dreams of doing and being, fire our love of life and all its beauty and inspire us to be more than we ever dreamed we could be.

In all that you do, bring “something more” to everything that you do - your profession, your family, your community and those whom you serve. Make life’s theater come alive with your beautiful and special gifts that only you have been given. Inspire us all to greatness and joy beyond our wildest dreams.

To know that people care about how you're doing when the doings aren't so good—that's what love is!

Few days ago I was given an opportunity to hold a session to a group of students about people personality, love and what we should look for into a person's soul so we can have long and happier friendship, relationship and etc. As usual before a training I was searching for some bonus things that might help/benefit me and the students attending the training, so this week I found and read few amazing books and checked some interesting sites so as sum up I will share this:

---> The 2 Important things that everyone should look for finding a soul mate:
Number one reason to spend time with a guy/girl is that he/she makes us feel happier and he/she is improving our life. Not making us more unhappy, insecure, unsafe, or just plain frazzled! If we want to feel a true love and happiness we must prioritize finding a person who:

1. Values growing as a person

2. Truly understands a relationship serves the double function of "Den of pleasure"—for fun, companionship, sex, laughter, etc. which we as a human need—so we can keep our soul alive with passion and "Laboratory for growth"—the ultimate place of challenge for our soul to be nurtured to grow—where we inspire one another's "character development"—so we can grow into your most esteemed selves.

If one partner doesn't value growth, he won't be ready to deal with non-fun, inevitable conflicts in a high integrity way. As a result, when those aforementioned disagreements, disappointments, stresses, crises, temptations, sadnesses, monetary-challenges, illnesses, vulnerabilities and misunderstandings arise, the relationship will suffer. Nowadays seems like a trend that many people look at a cute, funny, charismatic guy/girl and think: "Yum, yum! I want HIM/HER!" Then some look at loving, happy couples—watch the happy, healthy dynamic between the guy and girl— and think: "Yum, yum! I want THAT!"

---> True love is a 'that'—not a 'him'/'her' True love is not a wish list but a "wish feeling."
And the number one feeling—even before the feeling of love—is the feeling of safety, without feeling safe, you will never feel true love.

To sum up:

We must have trust in our partner's character and prioritize finding a partner who is honest, communicative, and empathic—someone who values growing—so we can feel safe to vulnerably be our truest core self with him/her—so then together the both of partners can support one another to grow into their best possible selves ;) !

Clear away what was not the image and reveal the masterpiece that is inside!

It's not "he who dies with the most toys wins." It's "he who has the most time to play with his toys and the most fun playing with them who wins." In other words: all work and no play means a life of all ego and no spirit.

True success is not about making lots of moola so we can get ourself expensive toys for our ego—nor is it about getting yourself a cute, sexy person for our ego. True success is about satisfying your spirit with spirit things. For instance, our ego looks at a cute, sexy person and says, "Yum, yum. I want that person." But our spirit is smarter. It looks at loving, joyous couples and thinks, "Mmmm, I want that joy, that happiness, that love."Our spirit wisely knows: it's not a mate's superficial qualities that ultimately make you happy, but the dynamic this mate and you have together—and the blissful feelings this mate can give us in our true (and eagle) heart.
Which reminds me of a lesson I've learned reading The Little Prince: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is most important is invisible to the eye." And with this in mind—and in heart—we decide to let this wise spirit of ours do all our life shopping.And with this in mind—and heart—we also decide: next time a paramour's not gonzo, then we're gone-zo.

Because we now know: a paramour without love is merely an empty container. And who wants an empty container? The container is not the sustainer.

We must not confuse the bottle for the juice. The bottle might satisfy your ego, but only the juice can feed your heart.

Shift your perspective and your attitude will follow

Every day we face a myriad of chores, errands or responsibilities, which might seem insurmountable or that we dread doing. With a perspective of dread or being overwhelmed you have created an attitude of failure. It is at times like these that we allow our perspective to create a bad mood. Needless to say, a bad mood will not change the fact that we are obligated to complete these tasks. Creating a bad mood only makes things worse. You can shift your perspective, thus shifting your attitude/mood. It is not what we do, but how we do it that makes the difference in our lives.It is important to remember when you are facing something that you know is difficult or you do not like to do, that you lovingly support yourself through the process.

The more support you give yourself, the easier it is to open your mind to the perspective that you can change the way you look at the situation. In reality, all the chores, errands, responsibilities you have are intimately intertwined with your successes in life.

When you remember this basic truth, you can feel gratitude, which makes it impossible to create a bad mood. It is a universal law that you can not have two feelings functioning simultaneously. You can vacillate from one to the other, however, if you stay focused on gratitude there is no space for another feeling to enter.When you shift your perspective by considering how much you like/love the fruits of your labor-clean house, lovely environment, beautiful lawn, etc.,-you have a perspective, which balances the outcome, rather than only focusing on the travail.

Any task can be transformed from a burden to a joy of creating something you like/love -> All we need to do is shift our perspective, and our attitude will follow

Being who you want to be, and doing what you want to be

The first trick an elephant trainer teaches an elephant is not to escape. When the elephant is still but a baby, the trainer chains the infant's leg to a huge log, so when/if the elephant tries to escape, the log proves stronger and he gives up. Eventually the elephant becomes so used to its captivity, that even when it has grown huge and strong, all the trainer has to do is merely tie the chain around the elephant's leg to anything—even a tiny little twig—and the elephant won't even try to escape.

It has become a prisoner of its past.We must declare your own Independence Day, then our own Independence Year, then our own Independence Life. The purpose of your life is to find the purpose of your life.Being who you want to be, and doing what you want to do, is self-respect.

Something even the flower knows to wisely cash in on. A flower instinctively goes toward the light. It doesn't spend time worrying if people will mistake it for a weed or if it's taking too much sun. It wisely and simply follows its primal flower gut instincts to attain its highest level of flowerosity.

Conversely, we—and our busy, busy brain—have been programmed to think, think, think—and so we have been ignoring our heart's instincts. Just like the eagles in the chicken days

--> It's when the eagle finally followed its heart that his life finally began to soar.